Well, it's been nearly two weeks since I returned from Adventure Camp, and it feels like its been a lifetime.
This is hard, because as I sit here for like, the millionth time, I still can't figure out what to say. And I need to say something. I feel like I owe it to this summer to try to put into words what an incredible experience it was. But I can't just say anything. I have to do it justice. I have to capture every scent, every sight, every smell, every moment, every second.
I know that's unrealistic. And I know that if I try that, I will type until my fingers fall off.
So let me just tell you that this summer was easily the best of my life. In the short two months that I was up north, God revealed to me things that I never knew about myself and about Him. He stretched me, He urged me to try new things, and He showed me that He is with me no matter where I am, no matter what I'm doing.
This summer, I learned what it means to be dependant. You're probably scratching your head and wondering how on earth that's a good thing. I didn't learn to depend on other people - I learned to depend on God. I learned that it's okay to ask Him for help. I learned that it's okay when I can't do something on my own. I learned that when my body grows tired, and weary, God stays strong. And I learned that if I am willing, God will replace my strength with His. He will work in me and through me.
Above all else, I learned what a privelege, what an opportunity, it is to love. Week after week, God placed groups of His children under my care and He asked only that I loved them. Loving those kids was such a blessing. Being their mom for the week, talking to them, laughing with them, rubbing their backs during sleepless nights, eating meals with them, praying with them, investing in them. I met the most amazing kids, with the most beautiful smiles and the most wonderful energy, and I got to build solid, trusting relationships with them. And, I got to watch God work in their lives. I got to share my relationship with Christ with them, and I got to help plant seeds in their minds and their hearts, trusting that God would nurture and grow those seeds. I saw kids commit their lives to Jesus, I prayed with them as they did it. When I think back on these experiences, I am blown away that God chose to use me the ways He did - that He picked me to work in these precious children's lives this summer.
I miss it. Everyday.
I miss the kids. I miss their laughter, and the sound of their small voices praying. I miss giving them piggy-back rides, and I miss holding their tiny hands in mine. I miss their tight little hugs, and I miss listening to them talk and talk about the cares of their young lives. I miss being a part of their lives.
I miss the stars, I miss the sunsets, I miss the lake, and the stillness of being surrounded by God's handiwork. I miss the sound of rain falling on the roof of my chalet. I miss the wildlife - the deer, the chipmunks, the raccoons.
I miss the incredible community of people I was blessed to work with. I miss being able to step outside and be greeted by a hug, or a smile, or an encouraging word. I miss feeling like a part of something incredible, a valued piece of a body working towards one common goal.
I miss being Daffi.
All in all, the summer was incredible. It exceeded all of my wildest dreams, every expectation, every notion that I had of what camp might be. God taught me, and pushed me, and changed me.
Not only was it the best summer of my life, but it was the best experience of my life. And even though I miss it unbelievably, I can't let that eclipse how incredibly grateful I am for those two months. I am so thankful for camp, I am so thankful for every moment of this past summer.
Being back in the real world is hard. And thinking about everything this summer held makes me feel like it would be so much easier to just be in that camp bubble again, to spend my whole life there. But I know that God taught me the things He did for a reason, and I know He's going to use those lessons and experiences in the coming year. It's exciting, and admittedly very scary, but He walked me through every transition at camp, and He will walk me through every transition here.
So, with that being said, I'm welcoming in the new year, I'm pushing past the tough adjustments, I'm trusting God to carry me through.
And I'm taking Adventure Camp with me.
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It's hard to put an experience into words, isn't it? As long as your closest friends have understood the way you feel by looking at you, talking to you, and grasping a sense of who you are as a growing woman in Christ, then I think a blog is just an extra piece.
ReplyDeleteYou owe nothing to the summer because you've already put your heart into it (:
And darling, remember that I'll be with you every step of the way!