grace and peace to you;

Today, I'm thankful for peace and grace.

On Sunday, my pastor preached on the antidote to anxiety - prayer. At this time of year, there was nothing I needed to hear more. I was reminded of the fact that peace, real peace, comes from Jesus.

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

So why have I been troubling my heart with so much anxiety and stress about school? Does my peace come from perfect marks? No. Do I only have peace when I'm not drowning in essays and exams? No. Will God ever give me more than I can handle? No.

Peace from Jesus is not at all like worldly peace. It isn't conditional. It is constant and it is a gift. And it is always available to me. I'm realizing I've been terribly selfish in the past week or so. I've been so focussed on the load on my back, the schoolwork, the marks, the essays, the exams, that I've let my focus slip from the needs of others, and I've also left Jesus out of the equasion. I felt as though today God was saying to me "Andi, do you want to be stressed? Or do you want this gift I've given to you? This peace I've given to you? Take it, it's yours." And when I told God I want it, when I asked him to penetrate me with that peace, the anxiety was gone.

I also had a lesson in grace today.
I received a gift, a blessing that I didn't deserve. It came in the form of a second chance on an essay. An essay I got a D on, deservingly so. And today my professor reached out and told me he wanted to help me. He gave me a second chance to redeem myself when there was absolutely no reason to. When I absolutely did not deserve it - I deserved my D.
Isn't that what Jesus did? Reached out and offered us a second chance that we absolutely did not deserve?

Don't I have so much to be thankful for?
Why do I insist on moping and wallowing and being sorry for myself at this time of year when Jesus came to give me life, and life to the full?

I have been looking at the world so narrowly. And today God reminded me that He offers me peace and grace so that I don't need to do that anymore. He has opened my eyes to a life so abundant. So full of blessings, and joy, things that go far beyond these two weeks. Far beyond essays and exams, and bad marks.

It was a good day. One where I felt as though I had so many reasons to be anxious and stressed, and all I could do was breathe in and out, and remember Jesus' many gifts to me.
It was perfect.